Thursday, October 25, 2012

A Gift

A couple of weeks ago we had back to back visits from our family. It was so good to see them. I realized just how much I miss them since we moved. I've been struggling with that lately. I miss our friends. I miss my sweet, smart, caring midwives. I miss convenience. I feel isolated. We live so far out and I do like it, but at times it is frustrating. I've really learned a lot, about who I am and who I thought I was, this summer. Now that fall has come, and we have really settled in, I feel...well...a little sad at times. I know I have some major pregnancy hormones flowing right now. I also know that when the baby comes this winter I will be busy and not be thinking so much on these things but for now life has slowed down and I feel homesick. I can always tell when I'm out of sorts because sewing and creating hold no appeal to me. Although I did sew a few custom orders the past couple of weeks, I really haven't had the desire to make anything else. Blogging was appealing but I don't like being a downer, complaining or seeming ungrateful, so I just wait for it to pass. On the flip side of things I have enjoyed having my own home. Painting, cleaning (yes, I said cleaning. ha!) hiking our hills, taking pictures of the kids, planning next year's garden, homeschooling, talking about chickens, goats and piggies. And I am finally sketching out new quilt ideas and rummaging through my stash again. I suppose the slump couldn't have come at a worse time though, as I was asked to submit a project for a book and I just could not come up with anything I knew was worthy to be in a book. I didn't like that feeling at all! Then at my midwife appointment last week she could not hear the babies heartbeat. I was sent for an emergency ultrasound and I was scared to death. My heart was beating out of my chest and I thought I might pass out. All I could do was pray and surrender. As soon as the tech started the ultrasound, our little girlie was flipping and moving around. Her heart sounded great. So I praised God, loudly and with tears. Before the ultrasound when I was waiting to be seen I kept thinking how I wish we were closer to our family. I'm just trying to take the good with the bad and rejoice in the positive. Here's a positive. My husband watched (my very favorite movie) Pride and Prejudice (Keira Knightley version) with me. It will probably not happen again. But he said it was a good movie. Although he still jokes with me about (the very best part of the movie) Mr. Darcy's hand!!! If you've seen it. You know the part I'm talking about.

Another very positive thing that happened while I was feeling this way was I got a little ray of sunshine in the mail. Amy @ nanaCompany sent me this tote as a thank you gift for the small quilt I sent her. I was in total shock when I opened the package. She posted about the tote here. I even pinned it to Pinterest when she posted about it! That's no small feat with dial up :) I love everything she makes but especially this because, as some of you know, I have a major love for Atsuko Matsuyama prints. And also for ticking. This girl has mad sewing skills. Her quilting is perfection and her piecing, fabulous.

This "All natural" label was absolutely perfect for me, too. I worked at 3 natural foods stores before I had kids. I used to be a bit of a natural foods fanatic. I've relaxed over the years. I've come to realize that you may be a complete health food nut/ yoga guru type, healthy as can be and die at 30 on a motorcycle (one of my best friends) or you may be a person who has eaten "oleo" trans fats, hot dogs, drank beer and vodka everyday all of your life and live to be 96 and still going ( my step-grandmother). God is in control! I still watch the foods we eat, cosmetics/toiletries we use and the household cleaners we use. So this was just a fun little added bonus for me. This little gift couldn't have come at a better time. It really lifted my spirit and made me smile. I love, love, love it, Amy!!! Thank you so much. I will cherish it.

And thank you all if you read my very wordy post today! I'll be back tomorrow with less words and more pictures.


Sarah said...

Oh, so many ups and downs in this post! First, I'm SO relieved you heard the baby's heartbeat! I know that feeling, but we had to wait a week because they could NOT find her. The next week, totally fine! I hope that is the only scare you have and that the rest of this pregnancy is smooth sailing.

I'm also sorry you're feeling homesick. I hope you feel roots growing into your new home and build many happy memories here. The visit must have helped!

And that bag is GORGEOUS, you lucky girl! Perfect for you, and I love (and have pinned) Amy's work, too! What a perfect mood lifter! :)

{Leila}Where the Orchids Grow said...

Big hugs Erin, I usually get a little blue this time of year. It's tough being away from your loved ones!
Glad your baby is all right that must have been so scary!! Amy's bag is beautiful what a lovely gift and perfect timing too :)

Samantha said...

Ah.. the end of summer doldrums. I know them well.

So glad everything is okay with the baby, what a scary thing to happen!!

The hand! Oh my gosh I had the same reaction when I first watched it... "Oh!" I told my daughter "Look... at his hand!" It is my favorite part of the movie! I have a mad crush on Matthew Macfadyen anyway but I really loved him in that version of Pride and Prejudice. Now when we watch it my daughter always says as we are coming to that part... "don't say it MOM!!" I always say... "Oh.. watch his hand!" LOL!

Cindy Sharp said...

I moved when I was pregnant once. It is very hard. I am glad that you posted about it if for no other reason than so
I could tell you it is normal to feel blue.

The bag is wonderful! Lucky you.

Vicki said...

I don't know how far you moved but we moved last year and it has been a much more difficult transition than I thought. I'm glad everything's ok with your baby! And the tote bag is super cute.

Jo said...

I'm so glad its a positive outcome Erin! I so know how it feels to be praying for the healthy development of an unborn baby! I hope you find your happy place soon! I just love looking at your blog and all the pretty things you make, you are such an inspiration. In fact I made something else with your little birdies on last week for my sister.

It is hard to live away from everyone, we lived in a remote part of the outback Australia for 4 and half years and have lived away from our home country for over ten years on and off. We finally came back last year but to be honest we don't see family as often as I thought we would. I have come to realise that it is my husband and my daughter that count the most as my family. The extended family are wonderful and lovely too but really it's your immediate family that are there for you on a daily basis.

Big Hugs! :-)

Shannon Wallace said...

I'm so happy that the baby is just fine!!! Praise the Lord!!!! :)

That bag is TOO cute!!!! Too cute!!!!!

charlotte said...

Glad everything is okay with the baby. We moved a lot during the first half of our marriage, for his work. So I can really relate. Try this: whatever, or whomever you are missing in any given moment, think of one good thing about where you live now. It will help you through those times. Best wishes.

vintage grey said...

So happy your sweet baby is okay!! Such a blessing! A beautiful tote bag, with the prettiest prints!! Will be keeping you in my prayers! xo Heather

debbie @ happy little cottage said...

I am happy to hear all is well with your little one! Can I admit I am a teeny weeny bit jealous of your tote bag from Amy? :) I adore her projects too, and couldn't think of a nicer thing to get in the mail during an icky week! Enjoy!

Kerri said...

what a blessing to have everything o.k. with your baby! i know how you feel, missing family! it always seems to me there is something missing with them so far away.

the tote is amazing!! i agree, amy has such incredible taste, style and sewing skills! i have some of her work in my home including one of her totes!! i really cherish them all!!

hugs, kerri

Carla said...

You are such a treasure Erin and I look forward to every post!

Heidi Staples said...

Erin, I'm stopping to pray for you right now. Life is hard sometimes, even when it's good. I know exactly where you're coming from.

Gina said...

Yay for happy mail from a friend to cheer the day!! Moving and being pregnant are both adjustments so you've been hit with a double whammy!! Your new header is cute! Hope the rest of your pregnancy is free of any more scares. Take care and I wish you a happy day :)

Amy, a redeemed sheep said...

I know all about the dark clouds that can come over a person and leave them in a funk. I have been there lately, too. I look around at all that God has blessed me with and I feel guilty. Which doesn't help the mood at all! I just keep hanging on to His goodness and grace. =)

Praise God your baby is ok!

PS: I liked reading all your words. =)

Rebecca said...

I'm so sorry you've been feeling this way. I've been there.

What a nice present to receive. It's lovely!

Becky G said...

How generous of you to share your life. I held my breath as i read about your emergency trip to get an ultrasound.... It must have seemed interminable. Your faith builds mine. Thanks so much.

In reading your post, i am reminded of the rhythms of life... Sometimes they are so pronounced... Breathe in, breath out.... Plus i think of the seasons, you seem to be in one of those autumn transition times... So much change, so many well loved comforts relinquished. My prayer for you is that as the leaves of your former situation fall away, they nourish future creations in which you and others can find sustaining nourishment.

I also read nanacompany blog, and am delighted to now have found the other end of her blog @ the lovely tote.
Thanks again for sharing your tender thoughts. B said...

This bag is gorgeous.



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